Saturday, August 15, 2015

The Power of Agreement

By: Azeb

The True Spirit of Azeb

I've been having trouble writing this blog. I feel like by wrapping up my time in Veracruz with this blog I'll be sort of cutting ties with this place, and the last thing I want to do is put this experience to an end. I've been having this feeling since I've gotten back that my mind is still floating back somewhere in Mexico. I have adjusted back into my everyday routine physically, but emotionally and mentally I feel as free and loved as I did in Veracruz. I've been cautiously waiting for my mind to come back to the States, for me to start viewing myself and the people around me how i did before the trip. That it just hasn't fully hit me yet that I'm back, but I'm beginning to realize that this isn't just a high i'm waiting to ride out. That this feeling is something permanent. That I'm probably not going to be the person I was before the trip and that's something I'm choosing to accept.

On our last night in Veracruz our MVOT family had dinner on the second floor of my favorite restaurant. We were talking about agreements we make everyday. I talked about how I remember running outside on the field in the 7th grade and this girl telling me that I run funny. Ever since then I made it a habit not to run in public which is stupid, because I don't even remember that girl's name, yet I let what she said hold me back for so long. We are told so many things on a daily basis, and we choose to agree or disagree with them without even realizing it. I've started to make it a habit to consciously disagree with everything in my life that's toxic to me. 

So far I've chosen to :
  • Run: I raced my cousin at the park, I ran to go get peanut butter for a customer at work. 
  • Believe in myself: My penny boarding skills have improved drastically, because I'm actively trying to cope with the fear of falling off. I've learned to speak a little louder and stronger. To make longer eye contact. To not be the first person to move or look away.
  • Cut Ties: I quit my job. 
  • Love myself: That my septum doesn't make me any less human. That I have control over more than just what I eat. 
  • Accept: That just because the people I care the most about don't agree/disagree with something that doesn't make me a bad person if my opinions differ. That it's alright not to be okay. That I'm probably going to be confused for the rest of my life, and it's not my job to have everything figured out. 
Just because you choose to accept something about yourself or your life in the past doesn't mean you can't go back and change your mind. One of my teachers gave me this piece of advice during a time in my life where I couldn't help but over think everything that was happening to me. He told me to reflect on things going on around me. At first that thought made me uneasy because I didn't want to think back on the things in my life that I can't change. 

My thoughts of it changed after everything I've learned while in Mexico  We need to look back and reflect on things daily because everything is always changing. No truths are constant so whatever seems impossible or a barrier now will change. Change is inevitable, it's one of the only things you can count on. By reflecting we're allowing ourselves to change.

Monday, August 10, 2015

French toast + Serendipity

By Eyerusalem
the photo flash mob that left the parade for this picture

French toast. The only thing we had planned for today was to eat french toast for breakfast. Reagan was going to wake up early in the morning and make her delicious toast added with the rich vanilla extract she bought from our trip to Tajin. We all woke up feeling motivated by the mouth-watering aroma being released from the kitchen and in no time, each one of us was sitting in the dining area. And we ate. We had no plans for what was to come later. There was no "and then", there was no "after", but there was plenty of toast and syrup.

A few moments after I apprehensively snatched the last piece of french toast from the platter, we all dispersed into our own little areas. Little did we know the serendipitous happenings that were going to later unfold.

Trumpets. Cheers. Honks. Laughter. Those were the sounds I heard from my tiny window in my room. Before I had the chance to ask what was going on, Reagan said, "There is a parade outside, let's go!" I immediately got dressed and found the entire tribe gathered around the boulevard next to the beach. The faint smell of sewage was unparalleled to the beauty of the parade. There were colorful feathers everywhere: blue, green, red, white.

Both old women and little girls as young as three were swaying their hips to the sound of the beat. A flock of women and men in blue feathered costumes began walking past us. Many of the watchers as well as the participants of  the parade kept on staring at us and asked for pictures. It was funny, we might as well have had our own float considering the amount of attention that was given to us. Moments later, a group of old men in iridescent button-down shirts passed by and once they noticed the odd view of five Black people, they circled Reagan and cheered her on to dance. And boy, did she dance. It was all very beautiful.

After the spontaneous parade, we all got ready for our goodbye dinner with our teachers. The moment made me realize how quickly the past two weeks had gone. It seemed like just yesterday I was trying to come up with all these mnemonic devices and strategies to teach my Spanish teacher, Mario how to pronounce my name.

The entire day was perfect, ending with salsa dancing at the town square. It was the perfect seal to our beautiful journey. We really had absolutely no idea what the day was going to hold. Being someone who likes everything planned and is intimidated by spontaneity, it has certainly taught me that sometimes, it is best to just wake up and have french toast, and let everything else perfectly and gracefully fall into place.

Reagan, Jordan, Azeb and Zion, I am so grateful to have been able to take this trip with you guys. It has been a really life-changing experience. When we head back, we are probably going to be bombarded with life's obligations, but I will never forget all of our amazing moments (seriously, they have all been captured on my phone) and our hilarious series of inside jokes.

With love,
Eyerusalem


The Summer Parade


 My Spanish teacher, Mario and I